Product of an East coast trust fund, born and bred in the South, currently residing in the Midwest, destined for the West. When I'm not silently judging people behind my Ray-Ban's while sipping green iced tea, I'm getting a better GPA and having a better blood type than you. I drive stick-shift and if you don't and you're a guy I probably hate you.
Wait people actually take the satire columns on this website seriously? Oops.