Dramatically breaking up with someone you weren’t even dating. TSM.

Graduating with honors and alcoholism. TSM.

I’ve got 99 problems, but a big ain’t one. TSM.

Judging a girl based on her boyfriend’s clothes. TSM.

Late night shacking, not snacking. TSM.

Having more spirit for your sorority than you ever did for your high school. TSTC.

I’m concerned. My responsibilities are starting to interfere with my drinking. TSM.

“Do we know him?” TSM.