Having the body of a trophy wife and the brains of a surgeon. TSM.

Shopping for a date party dress during your three-hour lecture. TSM.

Preferring pre-law boys to pre-med boys, because it’s less schooling and more First Lady potential. TSM.

Turning your letter shirt inside out for the walk of shame, because you respect your sorority enough not to shame it, but not enough to keep you from doing the shameful thing. TSM.

Dressing up as “shit show” Barbie for a social. TSM.

The “is everyone alive?” group text every Saturday morning. TSM.

All I need to get through today is a little tequila and a whole ‘lotta Jesus. TSM.