I only break the rules because they’re stupid. TSM.

Bringing your sunglasses out with you at night, because you know you’ll want them for the walk home in the morning. TSTC.

She puts the “hell” in “Panhellenic.” TSM.

I plan to be involved as a senior, so long as my involvement means I can be drunk. TSM.

Premeditating a drunken hookup. TSM.

Making a shower cocktail, because there’s no time waste, only time to be wasted. TSM.

I’m concerned. My responsibilities are starting to interfere with my drinking. TSM.

I don’t use soda as a mixer, so I feel pretty healthy. TSM.