My mom thinks I’m on birth control for “skin problems.” I wonder when she’ll realize my skin is flawless. TSM.

Yes, we drink wine every night. No, thats not considered alcoholism. TSM.

Only knowing what day of the week it is during the summer because of birth control pills. TSM.

“Little, I knew you were a keeper.” TSM.

If you like Southern gentlemen, raise your glasses. If you don’t, raise your standards. TSM.

Avoiding getting on facebook after a vacation because I know I’ll have too many notifications to look through. Life is hard. TSM.

Me- “Mom, I want to get my second hole pierced.” Mom- “Honey, would the first lady have a second piercing?? I don’t think so.” TSM.