I’m 6’3″ with above-average girth and I’ll go back to the gym if you promise you’ll come with me and allow me one stare at the spin class chicks per visit. I have a Waspy name and a future legal career I plan on giving a shit about for at least a few years. I’m good with dads and I’ll stay relatively sober around your mom. I have enough money to buy you a rock big enough to make Whitney Houston jealous. I’m a fan of small cats and the spoons position. My only rule is that you never play “Thrift Shop” in our house. I promise I love to do whatever the hell it is that young women want new husbands to feign an interest in these days. I promise I’ll love you forever if you cradle the balls and whisper that things are going to be all right in my ear whenever we fight, and you promise not to say stuff for three hours every Sunday in the fall. Love me forever?
Dearest Hawtpiece,
I’m 6’3″ with above-average girth and I’ll go back to the gym if you promise you’ll come with me and allow me one stare at the spin class chicks per visit. I have a Waspy name and a future legal career I plan on giving a shit about for at least a few years. I’m good with dads and I’ll stay relatively sober around your mom. I have enough money to buy you a rock big enough to make Whitney Houston jealous. I’m a fan of small cats and the spoons position. My only rule is that you never play “Thrift Shop” in our house. I promise I love to do whatever the hell it is that young women want new husbands to feign an interest in these days. I promise I’ll love you forever if you cradle the balls and whisper that things are going to be all right in my ear whenever we fight, and you promise not to say stuff for three hours every Sunday in the fall. Love me forever?
P.S. I go down first.