The number of times I’ve used a guy because his bed was closer than mine is both epic and appalling. TSM.

Sisterhood is forever. So is mod podge. TSM.

I’ve begun using shot glasses as my contact containers if you want to make conducting the Hot Mess Express a competition. TSTC.

When your classmates pay more attention to you than the professor. TSM.

Keep your friends close and your standards chair closer. TSM.

Being on all of your hookups’ Snapchat best friends list. TSM.

Forgetting his name. Remembering his letters. TSM.

“I know everyone.” TSM.

Having battle scars from dancing on elevated surfaces. TSM.