My sorority was founded before “sorority” was even a word. TSM.

None of my friends got pregnant in high school. TSM.

The only boys that can get below my Mason-Dixon Line are those who have pledged under it. TSM.

I don’t dye my hair or starve myself to stay thin. I don’ t look down upon lower tier sororities. I’m not getting my MRS degree but an MBA instead. I can make a fantastic sandwich, award winning cupcakes and unbutton an Oxford and khakis with one hand. TSM.

Southern girls get David Yurman and Tory Burch, Northern girls get Cartier and Chanel. TSM.

Never had my belly button pierced. TSM.

Sarah Palin wearing Nike shorts, shooting guns, planning on running for president, and making Todd sandwiches. TSM.

Being a Jackie, not a Marilyn. TSM.

I’m conservative everywhere except the bedroom. TSM.

A proper lady never spits. Anything. TSM.