I’m a risk to be managed. TSTC.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. NS. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, elevated surface. TSTC.

You can never have too many little black dresses. TSM.

Party girls don’t get hurt. TSM.

Feeling half appalled and half delighted when you find out your fraternity nickname is “Big Tits.” TSM.

Being invited to your favorite fraternity’s formal before their sweetheart. TSM.

Birth control and iced coffee: the real breakfast of champions. TSM.

Going home with your ex just to make sure nobody else does. TSM.