Binge watching “Keeping up with the Kardashians” when you should be keeping up with the children you’re babysitting. TSTC.

The bartender looking at your ID, saying “fake as hell,” then pouring you a drink. TSM.

The only three things a guy should want to change about a girl are her last name, her address, and her point of view on men. TSM.

Elle Woods would’ve proven Casey Anthony was guilty. TSM.

If more females would sit down and be ladies, more males would stand up and be gentlemen. TSM.

Getting the sudden urge to rear-end anyone with an Obama 2008 bumper sticker. TSM.

The only boys that can get below my Mason-Dixon Line are those who have pledged under it. TSM.

Adopting an underprivileged teenager and having him become an NFL star. TSM.