Hi. We’ve met seven times, but I’ve never seen you sober. TSM.

Deciding which underwear to wear based on who’s going to be there. TSM.

I’ll keep flirting because he keeps buying drinks. TSM.

Actually looking genetically related to your big. TSM.

The Sunday morning internal debate on whether to apologize for last night or pretend it never happened. TSM.

Going to the gym to get that perfect bikini bod, then coming home and rewarding yourself by eating half a pizza. TSTC.

“He’s going into the family business.” TSM.

Drinking your calories and your feelings in the same night. TSM.

Being the collegiate president when your mom is the alumnae president. TSM.

Using recruitment as an excuse to buy new clothes. TSM.