Never doing the walk of shame…because you always get a ride home. TSM.

I only took like four shots because I’m a sober sister tonight. TSM.

Can I get philanthropy hours for volunteering to be sober sister? TSM.

Being the brunch queen. TSM.

Knowing his fraternity’s calendar better than he does. TSM.

The fact that a Plan B ad is at the top of the TSM homepage, complete with a $10 off coupon. TSTC.