“Can you see my hangover through these sunglasses?” TSM.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because he was tall and in a good fraternity, and he’ll probably text you again at 2:34am this Saturday. TSM.

If by homework you mean his formal cooler, then yes, I’ve started it. TSM.

Every empty bottle has a story. TSM.

A mixer with us would be good for their reputation. TSM.

Refusing to play his snapchat story. TSM.

Needing a second 21st birthday because you don’t remember the first one. TSM.

I hope the earring I lost in his bed punctures him in his sleep. TSTC.

Being more stressed out about a meeting with standards than an exam. TSM.