The president of nationals having your phone number…and knowing that’s not a good thing. TSM.

Negative pregnancy test Snapchats. TSTC.

If it didn’t end up on social media, you can’t prove it. TSM.

Not actually wanting her heart to be blessed in any way, shape, or form. TSM.

Wine Wednesdays. TSM. Wine whenevs. TSTC.

You want a girl who bakes and cleans? Cool. I’ll be chugging wine and hooking up with a guy who actually likes to have fun. TSM.

Feeling flattered when someone says they “know you don’t eat.” TSM.

Tom Brady being the only NFL player you can name. TSM.

Introducing the risk management chair to your little while your best friend goes mattress sledding in the house. TSM.

The complete disregard for ladylike behavior when the bus starts singing the house song. TSM.