“Did the man whose trunks dropped grab them instantly and react in horror? No.”
How do you know? The author never went into details. Nice assumption.
” Since when is grabbing an ass in public ever appropriate?”
So it’d be okay if it was in private? That’s nonsense. That being said, if a couple wants to grab each other’s ass in public I really couldn’t care less. Their business. Not mine. Stop being nosy.
“? Since when is it appropriate as a “first move” in any flirting relationship?”
Who said it was the first move? More assumptions. Stop doing that. That’s the real problem in today’s culture, people like you who make assumptions instead of approaching things logically. Stay off a jury.
” You’re less clear on the idea that MEN should be the ones to know when they don’t have consent before THEY engage in inappropriate behavior. ”
I don’t consider a seventh grader a man. I also don’t know what you’re referring to but that instance is the only one that makes sense. Pardon the assumption.
“A young woman I’ve known since she was 4 is now dealing with sexual harassment of her 8 year old. Another 8 year old told this child a vulgar vulgar “joke”. By your standards, if she thought the boy was cute last week, how could he know not to behave in a sexually vulgar manner? ”
Are you joking lady? Not only is this completely different, but it’s also completely ridiculous to say an 8 year old is capable of sexual harassment. It was a rude joke but I HIGHLY doubt the joke was made for his sexual arousal lady. The boy was probably trying to make her mad. Get real. 8 year old sexually harassing anyone. Seriously?!
Lastly, I don’t know what the joke was so it’s impossible for me to even know if it was even sexual. Did he just say something like “kiss my butt”? How can one ever get anywhere with such a lack of detail…
240.
An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another.
242.
A battery is any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another.
Now to continue on what you said:
“This doesn’t mean you need to have permission to touch someone every time, but they reserve the right to reject it. ”
Can you point out where I said this wasn’t the case? It seems you are strawmanning me.
“Unwanted, unwarranted butt-grabbing DOES qualify as a battery/assault of the sexual nature.”
From a 14 year old who she admits to have been flirting with for weeks? I think you’d have a terrible time finding a prosecutor who’d be on board with that. Now if they were both adults then I would say he should have better judgement and there MAY be some legal options but when she goes on to say that he promptly felt bad then it is blatantly obvious he misread the signs. If your idea of justice is to prosecute someone of a very serious crime for a mistake solely to protect the brief uncomfortable moments the “victim” may have had then I am EXTREMELY glad people like you are far away from controlling our legislation. Our jails and prison population would skyrocket and many lives would be undeservingly shattered in pursuit of a morale high ground which has, at the point, been completely lost.
” While there is no state law that requires permission to touch someone, the law does provide recovery for unwanted touching. The nice part about it is that it doesn’t matter what YOU think happened, or even what THEY thought, because the law is the law.”
Well until you point out the penal code, of any state, that specifies what you’re trying to claim is “law” then I’ll have to say you’re full of poop.
Oh Lord. So now even a conscious adult woman with full mental faculties can be raped when they never said no or tried to stop it? Consent forms before sex incoming…
1) Prove it was intentional. She was there and isn’t even sure.
2) He was 14. If you’re going to sit there and sanctimoniously pretend you never misread signs, especially at that age, then you’re a liar. I don’t want to live in a society where we have to ask permission to touch someone in a sexual way. There is no passion in that. If you do, that’s on you. It’s obvious from her account he was not being perverted and simply thought she would have been okay with it. Given the context “flirting for weeks, desire for that kind of attention” I think a lot of 14 year old boys would have made that mistake. Not #MeToo.
3) How many times have you said “no” or “stop” initially but later gave in? Was that rape? You can change consent. Which she did. But she was too drunk. That’s the point.
There is no law that states you need to ask permission to touch someone. Touching a sexual organ? Sure that’s different. But as someone else stated we are not robots.
I literally signed up just to help you clarify your doubts. The way you’ve written this article very much seems like you’re on the fence. When it comes to these things, only the facts can help you figure out what actually happened:
1) If the man flashed you, then that was wrong. He was wrong. If his swimwear slipped then it was an accident. At such a young age, it’d be hard for you to know either way for sure but you did the right thing. I wouldn’t feel any guilt about the incident but I wouldn’t post #MeToo about it.
2) You even admitted you wanted that sort of male attention but when you got it you changed your mind. That isn’t assault since you clarified he felt bad and stopped. It isn’t his fault since you said you were flirting with him. He obviously misread the signs. He wasn’t trying to assault you. And anyone under the “you must ask permission to touch me before you can” belief is a very damaged person who will never enjoy passion. Don’t ruin your passion because of things like this. You were young though. you both were. Not your fault even if you did mislead him. And certainly not what I’d consider sexual assault. Not #MeToo
3) Your choice of words “We were very drunk” makes me wonder why you’d then say “technically” raped. If you both were too drunk to consent then how can it only be him that raped? That being said, I believe based on the rest of your context that was simply you trying to minimize. I don’t think he was nearly as drunk as you. I think he was aware of what he was doing and you obviously blacked out. If that’s the case, then say #MeToo because you were raped.
4) Abuse and rape plain and simple. Withdrawing consent is something everyone has the right to do.
“Did the man whose trunks dropped grab them instantly and react in horror? No.”
How do you know? The author never went into details. Nice assumption.
” Since when is grabbing an ass in public ever appropriate?”
So it’d be okay if it was in private? That’s nonsense. That being said, if a couple wants to grab each other’s ass in public I really couldn’t care less. Their business. Not mine. Stop being nosy.
“? Since when is it appropriate as a “first move” in any flirting relationship?”
Who said it was the first move? More assumptions. Stop doing that. That’s the real problem in today’s culture, people like you who make assumptions instead of approaching things logically. Stay off a jury.
” You’re less clear on the idea that MEN should be the ones to know when they don’t have consent before THEY engage in inappropriate behavior. ”
I don’t consider a seventh grader a man. I also don’t know what you’re referring to but that instance is the only one that makes sense. Pardon the assumption.
“A young woman I’ve known since she was 4 is now dealing with sexual harassment of her 8 year old. Another 8 year old told this child a vulgar vulgar “joke”. By your standards, if she thought the boy was cute last week, how could he know not to behave in a sexually vulgar manner? ”
Are you joking lady? Not only is this completely different, but it’s also completely ridiculous to say an 8 year old is capable of sexual harassment. It was a rude joke but I HIGHLY doubt the joke was made for his sexual arousal lady. The boy was probably trying to make her mad. Get real. 8 year old sexually harassing anyone. Seriously?!
Lastly, I don’t know what the joke was so it’s impossible for me to even know if it was even sexual. Did he just say something like “kiss my butt”? How can one ever get anywhere with such a lack of detail…
For a 60 year old you lack a lot of wisdom.
How do you know they hadn’t been holding hands? Middle schools flirting for weeks have probably held hands already, don’t cha think?
“ANY unwanted or unwarranted touching is assault. ”
Please cite your penal code.
So much for “innocent until proven guilty”. Lock anyone up who can’t prove consent! Lord help me… The mindframe some people have on here…
Mr. Lawyer please cite your penal code:
240.
An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another.
242.
A battery is any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another.
Now to continue on what you said:
“This doesn’t mean you need to have permission to touch someone every time, but they reserve the right to reject it. ”
Can you point out where I said this wasn’t the case? It seems you are strawmanning me.
“Unwanted, unwarranted butt-grabbing DOES qualify as a battery/assault of the sexual nature.”
From a 14 year old who she admits to have been flirting with for weeks? I think you’d have a terrible time finding a prosecutor who’d be on board with that. Now if they were both adults then I would say he should have better judgement and there MAY be some legal options but when she goes on to say that he promptly felt bad then it is blatantly obvious he misread the signs. If your idea of justice is to prosecute someone of a very serious crime for a mistake solely to protect the brief uncomfortable moments the “victim” may have had then I am EXTREMELY glad people like you are far away from controlling our legislation. Our jails and prison population would skyrocket and many lives would be undeservingly shattered in pursuit of a morale high ground which has, at the point, been completely lost.
” While there is no state law that requires permission to touch someone, the law does provide recovery for unwanted touching. The nice part about it is that it doesn’t matter what YOU think happened, or even what THEY thought, because the law is the law.”
Well until you point out the penal code, of any state, that specifies what you’re trying to claim is “law” then I’ll have to say you’re full of poop.
Oh Lord. So now even a conscious adult woman with full mental faculties can be raped when they never said no or tried to stop it? Consent forms before sex incoming…
1) Prove it was intentional. She was there and isn’t even sure.
2) He was 14. If you’re going to sit there and sanctimoniously pretend you never misread signs, especially at that age, then you’re a liar. I don’t want to live in a society where we have to ask permission to touch someone in a sexual way. There is no passion in that. If you do, that’s on you. It’s obvious from her account he was not being perverted and simply thought she would have been okay with it. Given the context “flirting for weeks, desire for that kind of attention” I think a lot of 14 year old boys would have made that mistake. Not #MeToo.
3) How many times have you said “no” or “stop” initially but later gave in? Was that rape? You can change consent. Which she did. But she was too drunk. That’s the point.
No. There was no opinion shared on their part. Thanks.
There is no law that states you need to ask permission to touch someone. Touching a sexual organ? Sure that’s different. But as someone else stated we are not robots.
I don’t care what the author is asking. I am making a comment on my own prerogative. Try not to silence opposing views. Thanks.
I literally signed up just to help you clarify your doubts. The way you’ve written this article very much seems like you’re on the fence. When it comes to these things, only the facts can help you figure out what actually happened:
1) If the man flashed you, then that was wrong. He was wrong. If his swimwear slipped then it was an accident. At such a young age, it’d be hard for you to know either way for sure but you did the right thing. I wouldn’t feel any guilt about the incident but I wouldn’t post #MeToo about it.
2) You even admitted you wanted that sort of male attention but when you got it you changed your mind. That isn’t assault since you clarified he felt bad and stopped. It isn’t his fault since you said you were flirting with him. He obviously misread the signs. He wasn’t trying to assault you. And anyone under the “you must ask permission to touch me before you can” belief is a very damaged person who will never enjoy passion. Don’t ruin your passion because of things like this. You were young though. you both were. Not your fault even if you did mislead him. And certainly not what I’d consider sexual assault. Not #MeToo
3) Your choice of words “We were very drunk” makes me wonder why you’d then say “technically” raped. If you both were too drunk to consent then how can it only be him that raped? That being said, I believe based on the rest of your context that was simply you trying to minimize. I don’t think he was nearly as drunk as you. I think he was aware of what he was doing and you obviously blacked out. If that’s the case, then say #MeToo because you were raped.
4) Abuse and rape plain and simple. Withdrawing consent is something everyone has the right to do.