“If you don’t focus on your ass, no one else will.” TSM.

Get some sun, or I’m taking you to standards. TSM.

“Fair-skinned” is what pale people call themselves to feel pretty. TSM.

GTRR: Gym, tan, recruit, repeat. No sleep. TSM.

Judging other sororities on their tan-to-pale ratio. TSM.

I love it when you talk derby to me. TSM.

Being classy is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t. TSM.

Year-round tan, five year plan. TSM.

Crafternoon cocktails. TSM.

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-adderall. TSM.