My big tells me I’m pretty. TSM.

“Is it weird I sort of pride myself on how crazy I am?” TSTC.

The booty pic is an art form. Call me Michelangelo. TSM.

Anything you can do, I can pay someone to do better. TSM.

I craft, because I care. TSM.

Strategically placing emojis in your snaps. TSM.

Queen of the Jungle Juice. TSM.

Trusting your blackout self to do the things your sober self won’t. TSM.

“Which fraternity is he in?” TSM.

Don’t judge me by my past. And by “my past,” I mean 12 hours ago. TSM.