The freshmen begging you to go out with them, because you’re an icon. TSM.

Drunk enough to make wildly embarrassing decisions. Not drunk enough to forget them. TSM.

Blacking out is God’s way of saying, “Don’t worry about it.” TSM.

Controlling his zipper and his wallet. TSM.

Looking up the projected income of your new boy’s major before taking it too far. TSM.

I just want him to text me so I can ignore him. TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

The best thing about college is being able to skip class whenever you want. That’s also the worst thing about college. TSM.

Making your roommates sit at the opposite end of the bar when you have a blind date. TSM.

Being more prepared for spring break in one month, than you are for the classes you have tomorrow. TSM.