Moms’ Weekend turning your crazy, semi-alcoholic friends into wholesome girls you don’t even recognize. TSM.

Remembering the night by what you wore, not what you did. TSM.

Last one to get ready. First one to get drunk. TSM.

“Is vodka a carb?” TSM.

“Drunk calories don’t count, right?”
“No, and drunk words don’t either.” TSM.

There is a special place in heaven for boys who understand the importance of asking you to formal in the most public and extravagant way possible. TSM.

“I want to add his letter to my monogram.” -Ella Fitzgerald. TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

Having the body of a trophy wife and the brains of a surgeon. TSM.

“It ain’t my fault when I walk and jaws drop.” -Miranda Lambert. TSM.