“Drunk calories don’t count, right?”
“No, and drunk words don’t either.” TSM.

Uber ride of shame. TSM.

There is a special place in heaven for boys who understand the importance of asking you to formal in the most public and extravagant way possible. TSM.

“Florals? For Bid Day? Groundbreaking.” TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

Having the body of a trophy wife and the brains of a surgeon. TSM.

“It ain’t my fault when I walk and jaws drop.” -Miranda Lambert. TSM.

Shopping for a date party dress during your three-hour lecture. TSM.

“I don’t even care if I get arrested. I’ve been wanting a cute mugshot lately.” TSM.

Preferring pre-law boys to pre-med boys, because it’s less schooling and more First Lady potential. TSM.