I like my men how I like my yogurt: white, rich, and Greek. TSM.

Dating more women over recruitment weekend than most men will their entire lives. TSM.

Saying “TSTC” instead of “YOLO.” TSM.

Having a “white girl” phone case. TSM.

Petitioning to send Beyoncé a bid. TSM.

Asking a guy what his major is to decide whether he’s your next boyfriend or your new hookup. TSM.

“I have a Pinterest board for that.” TSM.