Making your boyfriend sand his own cooler. TSM.

The meanest text you can send is a simple “Haha, do you remember what we talked about last night?” No, I don’t remember, and I certainly don’t want to be reminded. TSM.

Getting the entire bar to sing “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” to your boyfriend when he gets home from Afghanistan. TSM.

When your standard weekend routine includes writing apologies in an event you’ve called “Sorry Letter Sunday.” TSM.

“But then I found out he was a democrat, so I ended it.” TSM.