In response to several comments:
Any man you know that you think of as a friend will have sex with you if you offer. He may say no or pretend he’s not interested, but take him back to your place and start making out on his face and he will not stop you. 100% guaranteed. This doesn’t mean he sees you as a sexual object or that he doesn’t respect you. It’s just that men like to put their parts in things. Bottom line, If we like you enough to be your friend then we’ll bang you. Exceptions being if the dude is not single (assuming he has a shred of decency) or if you are not single (assuming he has several shreds of decency).
In response to the article:
This article isn’t describing the friend zone. It’s describing friendship. You’re all correct when you say that men and women can be friends, and can remain happily platonic for the duration of the friendship, but you need to accept that he wants to have sex with you and is just choosing not to pursue it. There’s no reason you can’t have a healthy friendship. This isn’t detrimental. However, he wants to see you naked and if he denies that he’s lying.
The friend zone is totally different. It’s when the girl recognizes this desire and takes advantage of it for personal gain. Letting him buy you an obscene amount of gifts, take you out for frequent “friend dates” (lol seriously), carry all your bags while you’re shopping and/or pay for the stuff in those bags, etc. Pursuing–or even just accepting–all of the benefits of a boyfriend without actually letting him be your boyfriend is friendzoning and if you do it intentionally you are bad and you should feel bad. If you’re doing it unintentionally you should recognize it and stop. If someone accuses you of friendzoning and you can’t respond, “No he’s just my friend. I buy all my own food/things,” then their accusation is probably accurate. If you can honestly say that you are paying your own way, then congratulations; You are just friends. If you buy food/things for him, even better.
This is also a good test of his intentions. No man religiously buys dinners and khakis for his buddies. He calls them names and tells them to pay their own way. If your guy friend expects you to ride your own wallet, then you can safely assume that he is genuinely happy being your friend and not actively playing at something more. He will, however, still have sex with you if you want.
Disclaimer:
I’m not talking about letting him pick up the tab sometimes or buy you that cute shirt the other week. We’re wired to be providers and we like doing it, so it’s fine every now and then. I’m talking about all the damn time letting him spoil you. Don’t do that. If you like him but don’t want to date him, teach him how to be more attractive and help him pick up other women. And FFS make him save his money to spend on them.
In response to several comments:
Any man you know that you think of as a friend will have sex with you if you offer. He may say no or pretend he’s not interested, but take him back to your place and start making out on his face and he will not stop you. 100% guaranteed. This doesn’t mean he sees you as a sexual object or that he doesn’t respect you. It’s just that men like to put their parts in things. Bottom line, If we like you enough to be your friend then we’ll bang you. Exceptions being if the dude is not single (assuming he has a shred of decency) or if you are not single (assuming he has several shreds of decency).
In response to the article:
This article isn’t describing the friend zone. It’s describing friendship. You’re all correct when you say that men and women can be friends, and can remain happily platonic for the duration of the friendship, but you need to accept that he wants to have sex with you and is just choosing not to pursue it. There’s no reason you can’t have a healthy friendship. This isn’t detrimental. However, he wants to see you naked and if he denies that he’s lying.
The friend zone is totally different. It’s when the girl recognizes this desire and takes advantage of it for personal gain. Letting him buy you an obscene amount of gifts, take you out for frequent “friend dates” (lol seriously), carry all your bags while you’re shopping and/or pay for the stuff in those bags, etc. Pursuing–or even just accepting–all of the benefits of a boyfriend without actually letting him be your boyfriend is friendzoning and if you do it intentionally you are bad and you should feel bad. If you’re doing it unintentionally you should recognize it and stop. If someone accuses you of friendzoning and you can’t respond, “No he’s just my friend. I buy all my own food/things,” then their accusation is probably accurate. If you can honestly say that you are paying your own way, then congratulations; You are just friends. If you buy food/things for him, even better.
This is also a good test of his intentions. No man religiously buys dinners and khakis for his buddies. He calls them names and tells them to pay their own way. If your guy friend expects you to ride your own wallet, then you can safely assume that he is genuinely happy being your friend and not actively playing at something more. He will, however, still have sex with you if you want.
Disclaimer:
I’m not talking about letting him pick up the tab sometimes or buy you that cute shirt the other week. We’re wired to be providers and we like doing it, so it’s fine every now and then. I’m talking about all the damn time letting him spoil you. Don’t do that. If you like him but don’t want to date him, teach him how to be more attractive and help him pick up other women. And FFS make him save his money to spend on them.