Maybe if you’re a robot… In the human world, people have first kisses, hug each other, put their arms around each other, and playfully grab bums without prefacing it with “IS IT OKAY IF I TOUCH YOU?”. She says they had been flirting for weeks and that she had been wanting it; she was just caught off guard.
I’m in no way shape or form trying to deny her right to have felt uncomfortable, and I can completely empathise with her conflicted feelings and that it may have been traumatic for her. He clearly missed the mark and it’s sad to me that she blames herself for her awkwardness rather than his lack of finesse. But just because it was traumatic doesn’t mean that a more than likely inexperienced and therefore rather unsubtle 14-year-old boy is guilty of sexual assault.
I’m not at all convinced that the butt grab was assault. Unless there’s something the article is leaving out, it sounds like he was just trying to make a move and missed the mark. It happens. People don’t explicitly ask permission and sign a consent form before doing things like leaning in for a first kiss, putting their arm around someone, etc. If he’d grabbed her breast then maybe, but to me grabbing someone’s butt is less intimate than kissing. It sounds perfectly normal for two middle school kids who have been flirting for weeks to do this kind of thing since they lack the experience to have more finesse. I an not denying OP’s right to have been made uncomfortable and scream, and now be confused about the incident, but labelling a naive 13 or 14-year-old boy as having committed assault is a bit much.
1. She isn’t 100% sure he flashed her on purpose though.
2. FFS do people ask every time before they have a first kiss, put their arm around another person on a date, etc.? No. The guy clearly missed the mark but from what the article said he also clearly seemed to think she was consenting.
I agree with you 100%.
Maybe if you’re a robot… In the human world, people have first kisses, hug each other, put their arms around each other, and playfully grab bums without prefacing it with “IS IT OKAY IF I TOUCH YOU?”. She says they had been flirting for weeks and that she had been wanting it; she was just caught off guard.
I’m in no way shape or form trying to deny her right to have felt uncomfortable, and I can completely empathise with her conflicted feelings and that it may have been traumatic for her. He clearly missed the mark and it’s sad to me that she blames herself for her awkwardness rather than his lack of finesse. But just because it was traumatic doesn’t mean that a more than likely inexperienced and therefore rather unsubtle 14-year-old boy is guilty of sexual assault.
I’m not at all convinced that the butt grab was assault. Unless there’s something the article is leaving out, it sounds like he was just trying to make a move and missed the mark. It happens. People don’t explicitly ask permission and sign a consent form before doing things like leaning in for a first kiss, putting their arm around someone, etc. If he’d grabbed her breast then maybe, but to me grabbing someone’s butt is less intimate than kissing. It sounds perfectly normal for two middle school kids who have been flirting for weeks to do this kind of thing since they lack the experience to have more finesse. I an not denying OP’s right to have been made uncomfortable and scream, and now be confused about the incident, but labelling a naive 13 or 14-year-old boy as having committed assault is a bit much.
1. She isn’t 100% sure he flashed her on purpose though.
2. FFS do people ask every time before they have a first kiss, put their arm around another person on a date, etc.? No. The guy clearly missed the mark but from what the article said he also clearly seemed to think she was consenting.
3. This one I agree is assault.