Would it be crazy or ingenious to save my fingerprint to his iPhone for easy access? TSM.

Can I add “TSM Famous” to my résumé? TSM.

Getting “yell at the bouncer for not accepting your Panera card as an acceptable form of photo ID” drunk. TSM.

The freshmen begging you to go out with them, because you’re an icon. TSM.

Drinking to forget the work *week.

*out TSM.

I just want him to text me so I can ignore him. TSM.

Actually, yeah, I do agree. I think I’m really pretty. TSM.