My fratdaddy’s last semester of college is my last semester waiting for him to propose. TSM.

The only time I drink beer is when I want to use my Lilly coozie. TSM.

Little girls in mother’s pearls will always be daddy’s girls. TSM.

When I run out of wine we’re leaving. TSM.

Pref Night: the only time suicide is a good thing. TSM.

Auto-correct keeps correcting my abreves, totes annoying. TSM.