Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because he was tall and in a good fraternity, and he’ll probably text you again at 2:34am this Saturday. TSM.

Refusing to play his snapchat story. TSM.

I didn’t pay for my friends. I paid for my Instagram likes. TSM.

“Accidentally” smearing lipstick on his shirt to mark your territory. TSM.

Marry for money. Love will come later. TSM.

Having an ever-growing collection of single earrings you refuse to get rid of. TSM.

Would it be crazy or ingenious to save my fingerprint to his iPhone for easy access? TSM.