Drunk enough to make wildly embarrassing decisions. Not drunk enough to forget them. TSM.

Blacking out is God’s way of saying, “Don’t worry about it.” TSM.

Controlling his zipper and his wallet. TSM.

Looking up the projected income of your new boy’s major before taking it too far. TSM.

I just want him to text me so I can ignore him. TSM.

Actually, yeah, I do agree. I think I’m really pretty. TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

The best thing about college is being able to skip class whenever you want. That’s also the worst thing about college. TSM.

No “bad side.” TSM.

Being hotter than you are crazy. TSM.