And this is why you won’t be my maid of honor. TSM.

Being Philanthropy Chair let me practice for planning my kids’ school fundraisers. TSM.

I’ve perfected the bitch stare hidden with a smile. TSM.

Cramming for the LSAT when all I really want to do is run the Junior League. TSM.

Sugar-free jello just doesn’t taste the same without alcohol in it. TSM.

My little was a bigger rush target than your little. TSM.

Drunk, busted legacy telling me not to judge her. Sorry I already did. TSM.

Sisters don’t let sisters drunk text. TSM.

Playing “is she pretty or is she cute?” on facebook instead of studying for finals. TSM.

Planning to have my children 15 months apart so I can coordinate their Easter outfits. TSM.