I’ll drink responsibly when there’s a brand of vodka called “Responsibly.” TSM.

“No makeup” for ritual just translating to “no contouring.” TSTC.

Fan girling over your little on every form of social media. TSM.

Going to the gym, only to realize you accidentally grabbed a water bottle filled with vodka. TSTC.

“YASSS” being an autocorrect suggestion in your phone. TSM.

When your 60-year-old alumnae tell you not to worry, because they were alcoholics too. TSM.