1: “Do you workout?”
2: “I mean I sorority squat in like ever picture.” TSTC.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because he was tall and in a good fraternity, and he’ll probably text you again at 2:34am this Saturday. TSM.

I hope the earring I lost in his bed punctures him in his sleep. TSTC.

“YASSS” being an autocorrect suggestion in your phone. TSM.

I didn’t pay for my friends. I paid for my Instagram likes. TSM.

Elle Woods would’ve proven Casey Anthony was guilty. TSM.

If more females would sit down and be ladies, more males would stand up and be gentlemen. TSM.

I’m not a slampiece, I’m a take-home-to-meet-the-fam-piece. TSM.

I don’t dye my hair or starve myself to stay thin. I don’ t look down upon lower tier sororities. I’m not getting my MRS degree but an MBA instead. I can make a fantastic sandwich, award winning cupcakes and unbutton an Oxford and khakis with one hand. TSM.

Adopting an underprivileged teenager and having him become an NFL star. TSM.