Discussing your options for an upcoming fraternity date party like it’s your event. TSM.

“Recruitment video” is a music genre if you ask me. TSM.

Getting “yell at the bouncer for not accepting your Panera card as an acceptable form of photo ID” drunk. TSM.

Red lips, black soul. TSM.

Not having money to buy groceries, but always coming up with enough cash for a new formal dress, cooler-making supplies, and alcohol. TSM.

Waking your best friend up by doing the secret knock on the wall. TSM.

Handpicking his roommate’s formal date. TSM.

So sick of people who aren’t Beyoncé. TSM.

When your mascara is $23, there’s no time for crying. TSM.

Drinking away the mistakes of 2014, only to make new mistakes the minute 2015 begins. TSM.