Being almost as good at removing red wine stains as you are at creating them. TSM.

Being nicknamed “Waldo,” because no one ever knows where you are Sunday morning. TSTC.

Giving a hickey to mark your territory. TSM.

My mom passed away before I went to college so I never knew I was a legacy…and I ended up in her sorority anyway. TSM.

Can’t I just be a cuddlepiece with t-shirt privileges? TSM.