240.
An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another.
242.
A battery is any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another.
Now to continue on what you said:
“This doesn’t mean you need to have permission to touch someone every time, but they reserve the right to reject it. ”
Can you point out where I said this wasn’t the case? It seems you are strawmanning me.
“Unwanted, unwarranted butt-grabbing DOES qualify as a battery/assault of the sexual nature.”
From a 14 year old who she admits to have been flirting with for weeks? I think you’d have a terrible time finding a prosecutor who’d be on board with that. Now if they were both adults then I would say he should have better judgement and there MAY be some legal options but when she goes on to say that he promptly felt bad then it is blatantly obvious he misread the signs. If your idea of justice is to prosecute someone of a very serious crime for a mistake solely to protect the brief uncomfortable moments the “victim” may have had then I am EXTREMELY glad people like you are far away from controlling our legislation. Our jails and prison population would skyrocket and many lives would be undeservingly shattered in pursuit of a morale high ground which has, at the point, been completely lost.
” While there is no state law that requires permission to touch someone, the law does provide recovery for unwanted touching. The nice part about it is that it doesn’t matter what YOU think happened, or even what THEY thought, because the law is the law.”
Well until you point out the penal code, of any state, that specifies what you’re trying to claim is “law” then I’ll have to say you’re full of poop.
Hi. Logged in just to post. Thank you so much for your post. You’ve put into words exactly how i feel. Since reading this ive spoken about my experiences, trauma and abuse (terms ice never said openly before), and im feeling more like i can talk about it and its wrong on others and not like ill be judged. Im going to keep it short but please believe me when i say thank you Dx
Thank you so much for writing this!!! I literally felt the exact same thing. I don’t ever want to feel like a victim. You hear other stories and compare… “maybe it wasn’t that bad,” making excuses for these men! We are not victims, we will not give them that validation. You are amazing, thank you again! I needed to read this. #MeToo
I am 60 years old and literally made an account just to let you know that this cultural attitude is “rape culture” Here’s the thing. Did the man whose trunks dropped grab them instantly and react in horror? No. There’s your answer. Since when is grabbing an ass in public ever appropriate? Since when is it appropriate as a “first move” in any flirting relationship? I can’t recall an age where I wouldn’t have been shocked at that. I’ve got LOTS of #metoo’s, but lo and behold, that’s not want of them. You’re clear that someone can withdraw consent at any time. You’re less clear on the idea that MEN should be the ones to know when they don’t have consent before THEY engage in inappropriate behavior. A young woman I’ve known since she was 4 is now dealing with sexual harassment of her 8 year old. Another 8 year old told this child a vulgar vulgar “joke”. By your standards, if she thought the boy was cute last week, how could he know not to behave in a sexually vulgar manner? Because It’s Not EVER Appropriate. That’s how. That is what we are fighting for. No more 8 year olds having to question themselves because of the culture of “boys will be boys”.
HOW DR JAMES SPELL CASTING RESTORED MY RELATIONSHIP,
Am writing this article to appreciate the good work of DR James that helped me recently to bring back my wife that left me for another man for the past 2 years. After seeing a comment of a woman on the internet testifying of how she was helped by DR James. I also decided to contact him for help because all i wanted was for me to get my wife, happiness and to make sure that my child grows up with his mother. Am happy today that he helped me and i can proudly say that my wife is now with me again and she is now in love with me like never before. Are you in need of any help in your relationship like getting back your man, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, winning of lotteries, herbal cure for sickness or job promotion E.T.C. Viewers reading my post that needs the help of DR James should contact him via E-mail: ( olorunoduduwaspiritualtemple @ gmail. c om )
methree…it was not really your choice to kiss him was it? what would have happened had you not kissed him? Would he have forced himself on you to get it?
Again….unwarranted advances, battery, his body touched yours without you wanting it……..
I’m glad you said that. My son thought I was joking when I told him to get a consent form signed before he touched a girl or had sex. I told him if he pissed a girl off….which he would some day…it could come back to bite him in the butt. I would become a “he said-she said” situation. If there is a consent for then everything is covered.
I don’t like ANYONE touching me without permission. I don’t hug at the door in church, I am not a hand shaker unless it’s the boss or someone deemed important and it would be misconstrued as rude. My family is different ofcourse but I am also selective there
I have read through some of the posts and felt compelled like other women to create an account to respond/comment. Thank-you for the article and I hope I don’t seem to be getting on a Soap Box in any way…..
ANY unwanted or unwarranted touching is assault. It doesn’t matter whether yours was minimal or “not as bad” as someone elses. You are not alone either!!!!! Too many women (and men as well) have suffered in silence and many will continue to do so. Some out of embarrassment that they allowed themselves to have been put in “that position”, to have allowed anything to happen to them or that they thought that somehow it was their fault. Maybe they should not have let the boy kiss them or hold their hand because somehow that meant they had permission to go further. If they had not drank so much they would have had control. It was still wrong!!!!! How about if I tell I won’t be believed because I’m such a flirt anyway. If my dad finds out he will tighten the reigns on me…….
YES, YES, YES that was me…. #METOO!!!!!!
(But my #metoo started when I was 3-4 yrs old and we aren’t going to go there)
My point is,,,,, this all has to stop somewhere! I started educating my nieces when they were young. I didn’t know I would someday have a son. It sucks feeling like a victim….I am a survivor! I began educating him young as well. They all know what I experienced. I told my son not to EVER take advantage of a girl or disrespect her in any way and I told his girlfriends….every one of them if he EVER disrespected them to come to me and I would take care of him.
Shame on these men who think they are superior. But shame on society for not taking action sooner to educate instead of coddling.
Get these kids off their technology and teach them to take notice of their surroundings. Kids need to look at how you present yourselves and be aware of how people are going to react.
May I say I joined after reading your comment. I love the quote in the last paragraph. May I share it? So so so important ” when you are in doubt, give that benefit of doubt for YOURSELF. Not to the other person. You are important for you, not the other person in situations where your honor is concerned.”
You are a smart woman. Thank you.
I found this article to be very well written and insanely poingant and it made me say, ironically enough, me too, a few times. Except I did say #metoo because I am part of this. I am a victim even if I don’t feel like one or act like one. And my kind of victim counts. My kind of victim is the kind who might not speak up when asked.
I know that even though the time I was forced to do something sexual was with a girl who was caught in a cycle from her female cousin doing the same thing to her, and even though I was confident enough to tell my mom right away and my mom believed me and took action and I haven’t really had to “live with” that having happened doesn’t mean it’s not a real part of my story or a real part of this larger problem.
I know that even though I can’t pinpoint all the times when innapropriate things have been said to me and that those things have been normalized as expected behavoir, or even earned or deserved, or in some cases a badge of honor, since I have seen women commenting how they can’t say #metoo and that makes them feel unattractive because they have never experienced harrassment. I know that because I considered adding into my original #metoo confession that it was because of certain aspects of my body that I was trained to expect these comments, to disregard them, to brush them off, to take pride in them, to laugh at them. That is part of the systematic problem and it needs to have a voice in this discussion.
I know that even though the time I was raped it was consensual until it wasn’t and the police told me I didn’t have enough evidence to make a case in court even though they made me waste my time at the hospital and I nearly got sent to collections because the hosiptal couldn’t figure out how to bill the Crime Victims insurance I received from L&I to cover those expenses, and even though I took the opportunity to put a restrainining order on my ex and it wound up keeping him out of my life – so far, which was something I had been asking him to grant me for months by the time he “didn’t know what I meant when I said no” that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. #Metoo
I feel this. For sure. I survived. I am FINE. I haven’t always been, but I am now, so I felt WEIRD about posting, but I also felt it was important to post. BUT I know that MOST women CAN write #metoo and some choose NOT to, and that is okay too. It’s nobody’s business, if you don’t want it to be.
How do you know they hadn’t been holding hands? Middle schools flirting for weeks have probably held hands already, don’t cha think?
“ANY unwanted or unwarranted touching is assault. ”
Please cite your penal code.
So much for “innocent until proven guilty”. Lock anyone up who can’t prove consent! Lord help me… The mindframe some people have on here…
Mr. Lawyer please cite your penal code:
240.
An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another.
242.
A battery is any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another.
Now to continue on what you said:
“This doesn’t mean you need to have permission to touch someone every time, but they reserve the right to reject it. ”
Can you point out where I said this wasn’t the case? It seems you are strawmanning me.
“Unwanted, unwarranted butt-grabbing DOES qualify as a battery/assault of the sexual nature.”
From a 14 year old who she admits to have been flirting with for weeks? I think you’d have a terrible time finding a prosecutor who’d be on board with that. Now if they were both adults then I would say he should have better judgement and there MAY be some legal options but when she goes on to say that he promptly felt bad then it is blatantly obvious he misread the signs. If your idea of justice is to prosecute someone of a very serious crime for a mistake solely to protect the brief uncomfortable moments the “victim” may have had then I am EXTREMELY glad people like you are far away from controlling our legislation. Our jails and prison population would skyrocket and many lives would be undeservingly shattered in pursuit of a morale high ground which has, at the point, been completely lost.
” While there is no state law that requires permission to touch someone, the law does provide recovery for unwanted touching. The nice part about it is that it doesn’t matter what YOU think happened, or even what THEY thought, because the law is the law.”
Well until you point out the penal code, of any state, that specifies what you’re trying to claim is “law” then I’ll have to say you’re full of poop.
Hi. Logged in just to post. Thank you so much for your post. You’ve put into words exactly how i feel. Since reading this ive spoken about my experiences, trauma and abuse (terms ice never said openly before), and im feeling more like i can talk about it and its wrong on others and not like ill be judged. Im going to keep it short but please believe me when i say thank you Dx
Thank you so much for writing this!!! I literally felt the exact same thing. I don’t ever want to feel like a victim. You hear other stories and compare… “maybe it wasn’t that bad,” making excuses for these men! We are not victims, we will not give them that validation. You are amazing, thank you again! I needed to read this. #MeToo
The “first move” is usually holding hands, not grabbing ass. Stop excusing this behavior.
I am 60 years old and literally made an account just to let you know that this cultural attitude is “rape culture” Here’s the thing. Did the man whose trunks dropped grab them instantly and react in horror? No. There’s your answer. Since when is grabbing an ass in public ever appropriate? Since when is it appropriate as a “first move” in any flirting relationship? I can’t recall an age where I wouldn’t have been shocked at that. I’ve got LOTS of #metoo’s, but lo and behold, that’s not want of them. You’re clear that someone can withdraw consent at any time. You’re less clear on the idea that MEN should be the ones to know when they don’t have consent before THEY engage in inappropriate behavior. A young woman I’ve known since she was 4 is now dealing with sexual harassment of her 8 year old. Another 8 year old told this child a vulgar vulgar “joke”. By your standards, if she thought the boy was cute last week, how could he know not to behave in a sexually vulgar manner? Because It’s Not EVER Appropriate. That’s how. That is what we are fighting for. No more 8 year olds having to question themselves because of the culture of “boys will be boys”.
HOW DR JAMES SPELL CASTING RESTORED MY RELATIONSHIP,
Am writing this article to appreciate the good work of DR James that helped me recently to bring back my wife that left me for another man for the past 2 years. After seeing a comment of a woman on the internet testifying of how she was helped by DR James. I also decided to contact him for help because all i wanted was for me to get my wife, happiness and to make sure that my child grows up with his mother. Am happy today that he helped me and i can proudly say that my wife is now with me again and she is now in love with me like never before. Are you in need of any help in your relationship like getting back your man, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, winning of lotteries, herbal cure for sickness or job promotion E.T.C. Viewers reading my post that needs the help of DR James should contact him via E-mail: ( olorunoduduwaspiritualtemple @ gmail. c om )
This article gave me the confidence to say “me too.” I’m glad to know there are other women who are going through the same thing I was. Thank you.
methree…it was not really your choice to kiss him was it? what would have happened had you not kissed him? Would he have forced himself on you to get it?
Again….unwarranted advances, battery, his body touched yours without you wanting it……..
I’m glad you said that. My son thought I was joking when I told him to get a consent form signed before he touched a girl or had sex. I told him if he pissed a girl off….which he would some day…it could come back to bite him in the butt. I would become a “he said-she said” situation. If there is a consent for then everything is covered.
Crying because I think this is the most beautiful thing I ever read and a Harry Potter quote in the engagement wowow
I don’t like ANYONE touching me without permission. I don’t hug at the door in church, I am not a hand shaker unless it’s the boss or someone deemed important and it would be misconstrued as rude. My family is different ofcourse but I am also selective there
I have read through some of the posts and felt compelled like other women to create an account to respond/comment. Thank-you for the article and I hope I don’t seem to be getting on a Soap Box in any way…..
ANY unwanted or unwarranted touching is assault. It doesn’t matter whether yours was minimal or “not as bad” as someone elses. You are not alone either!!!!! Too many women (and men as well) have suffered in silence and many will continue to do so. Some out of embarrassment that they allowed themselves to have been put in “that position”, to have allowed anything to happen to them or that they thought that somehow it was their fault. Maybe they should not have let the boy kiss them or hold their hand because somehow that meant they had permission to go further. If they had not drank so much they would have had control. It was still wrong!!!!! How about if I tell I won’t be believed because I’m such a flirt anyway. If my dad finds out he will tighten the reigns on me…….
YES, YES, YES that was me…. #METOO!!!!!!
(But my #metoo started when I was 3-4 yrs old and we aren’t going to go there)
My point is,,,,, this all has to stop somewhere! I started educating my nieces when they were young. I didn’t know I would someday have a son. It sucks feeling like a victim….I am a survivor! I began educating him young as well. They all know what I experienced. I told my son not to EVER take advantage of a girl or disrespect her in any way and I told his girlfriends….every one of them if he EVER disrespected them to come to me and I would take care of him.
Shame on these men who think they are superior. But shame on society for not taking action sooner to educate instead of coddling.
Get these kids off their technology and teach them to take notice of their surroundings. Kids need to look at how you present yourselves and be aware of how people are going to react.
May I say I joined after reading your comment. I love the quote in the last paragraph. May I share it? So so so important ” when you are in doubt, give that benefit of doubt for YOURSELF. Not to the other person. You are important for you, not the other person in situations where your honor is concerned.”
You are a smart woman. Thank you.
I found this article to be very well written and insanely poingant and it made me say, ironically enough, me too, a few times. Except I did say #metoo because I am part of this. I am a victim even if I don’t feel like one or act like one. And my kind of victim counts. My kind of victim is the kind who might not speak up when asked.
I know that even though the time I was forced to do something sexual was with a girl who was caught in a cycle from her female cousin doing the same thing to her, and even though I was confident enough to tell my mom right away and my mom believed me and took action and I haven’t really had to “live with” that having happened doesn’t mean it’s not a real part of my story or a real part of this larger problem.
I know that even though I can’t pinpoint all the times when innapropriate things have been said to me and that those things have been normalized as expected behavoir, or even earned or deserved, or in some cases a badge of honor, since I have seen women commenting how they can’t say #metoo and that makes them feel unattractive because they have never experienced harrassment. I know that because I considered adding into my original #metoo confession that it was because of certain aspects of my body that I was trained to expect these comments, to disregard them, to brush them off, to take pride in them, to laugh at them. That is part of the systematic problem and it needs to have a voice in this discussion.
I know that even though the time I was raped it was consensual until it wasn’t and the police told me I didn’t have enough evidence to make a case in court even though they made me waste my time at the hospital and I nearly got sent to collections because the hosiptal couldn’t figure out how to bill the Crime Victims insurance I received from L&I to cover those expenses, and even though I took the opportunity to put a restrainining order on my ex and it wound up keeping him out of my life – so far, which was something I had been asking him to grant me for months by the time he “didn’t know what I meant when I said no” that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. #Metoo
ugh that’s what i was worried about! i guess i was *too* slick about it. hopefully writing an article about it got my point across
Thank you for writing this! I’ve been thinking this as well
I feel this. For sure. I survived. I am FINE. I haven’t always been, but I am now, so I felt WEIRD about posting, but I also felt it was important to post. BUT I know that MOST women CAN write #metoo and some choose NOT to, and that is okay too. It’s nobody’s business, if you don’t want it to be.