“Take a picture of me!” you plead to your friends/boyfriend/mom. Even as the words are coming out of your mouth, you already know what pose (or poses) you’re going to do. Each one is a little different from the other, and you may switch it up depending on the occasion, but they all say something different about who you are as a person. The Kardashians know their shit when it comes to posing for the ‘gram, which is why I use them here as examples.
1. The Head Tilt
First off, HOW CUTE IS LITTLE P? She is everything. Second, the girl is clearly a fast learner because at the ripe old age of three she is already a master of the ‘gram. The head tilt is a simple maneuver, but it takes your otherwise boring picture from basic to cute AF. It doesn’t look like you’re trying too hard and you look effortlessly good. Maybe not as cute as P, but still pretty cute.
2. The Hand-In-Hair Pose
This pose is all about you. The hand in your hair allows you to give your hair a little fluff, which is perfect for when you’re on day three of not washing it. It also allows you to show off jewelry on your hand and wrist without being all in your face about it. The slightly crooked angle perfectly shows off your makeup, especially that sharp-as-shit contour you spent hours perfecting. This pose is usually a selfie, which is fine, as long as it’s in moderation. If you capture yourself in the right angle and the right lighting, this pose could land you into triple digit likes territory.
3. The Smize
If you do this pose, you know you’re hot shit. You’ve spent hours staring into a mirror trying out your smize — almost as much time as you spent on your makeup. You can’t do this face without wearing a full glam face. “America’s Next Top Model” was your favorite show, and Tyra Banks was your teacher. You absolutely love the Kardashians, and you don’t care how shallow or stupid it is to admit that. This pose forces you to lock eyes with the camera, like you’re sharing a secret with your followers. It’s mysterious, sexy, and once it’s done right, it becomes the only pose you know how to do.
4. The Tongue Out Pose
A personal fave of Kourtney, having your tongue out in your Instagram says you’re silly and carefree. You probably also have candids, but actual candids, on your feed. You enjoy wearing white converse and 60s style sunglasses. Your hair is always in a messy bun and you hate wearing bras. You’re goofy, funny, and this pose may or or may not accompany a peace sign.
5. The One-Eyed Selfie Pose
This pose is for people who also have a “side,” and only take pictures where their favored side is shown. It’s the perfect pose for when your hair looks better than your makeup. If you also do the fish gape thing with your mouth, where it’s open and it looks like you could catch flies, you’re trying too hard and I kind of hate you.
6. The Duck Face/Cheekbone Pop
I hate calling this pose the duck face, because it is so much more than that. This is my favorite pose, because it can totally transform your face. Don’t have cheekbones? Do the duck face and voilá, now you do. Already have the cheekbones? Congrats, you now have the bone structure of a model. This pose looks good on everyone, especially Kendall. If you don’t know what pose to go for, always choose duck face. It’s basic, but it works.
7. The Staring-At-The-Ground Pose
“LOL OMG I had no idea you were taking a picture of me! Is it cute? Send it to me!”
This pose is “candid,” whether it actually was or it was a planned candid. It’s cute, and it adds variation to your feed if all you do is actual poses. Sometimes they turn out cute, other times it just looks.. too candid. And awkward. You probably have to say, “just take a bunch in a row,” to whatever poor soul you convinced to take pictures of you. You have absolutely no shame and that’s perfectly fine, as long as you have a great picture to put up. Every girl needs to have at least one of these every five to seven pictures if you want a really good Instagram.
8. The Middle Finger Pose
This basic IDGAF pose is for all the bad bitches. The girls who don’t care about getting sent to standards. The girls who aren’t even in a sorority cause they were too cool to join. The girls who are sassholes and suffer from resting bitch face. You have to have a certain type of personality to pull this off, and if you do, this pose fits you to a T.
9. The Naked Pose
Just kidding, that pose is only for the Kardashians. .
Nice Move315
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Cristina Montemayor
Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).
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