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Women Everywhere Can Now Feel Vindicated: The G-Spot Orgasm Is Total Bullshit

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Female orgasms orgasms are a lot like unicorns. They’re beautiful and majestic. Most people claim they don’t exist. And the whole ordeal centers on a long, hard, giant stick. Sorry, unicorns.

Recently, however, some scientists have been poking around and have come to a ground breaking conclusion on the ol’ G-spot, clitoral, vaginal orgasm debate. And, drum roll please…

It’s all bullshit.

According to the Clinical Anatomy journal, we’re all idiots, and we’ve been doing sex wrong. Thank god. Most of us tend to feel like failures because we can never reach that glorious “vaginal climax.” Sure, sure, we’ve had orgasms, but we weren’t having THE orgasm. We were told that there’s something better. We got mirrors out and put our bodies into positions that should be illegal to find the damn G-spot. We utilized pillows, lubricants and even purchased those dumb sex balls from “Fifty Shades of Grey” to try to up our sex game. Turns out there’s only one orgasm it isn’t a G-spot, vaginal or clitoral orgasm.

After much research, these brains have figured out that the secret to the one and only female orgasm is: the clitoris. AKA, something we’ve known this whole time. Apparently, every lady out there can achieve greatness, it just all depends on the little, magic button.

Which brings me to one of my favorite topics of all time when it comes to sex: size. There have been heated debates (which I have helped stimulate buh-dum-chhh) concerning whether or not size matters, and it turns out, it totally does. But, we’ve been focusing on the wrong end of the equation. Apparently it’s the ladies who should be concerned about size. And by that, I mean the size of their clitoris. Studies show that ladies with smaller clits, or ones that are located further away from the vagina, make it much harder to achieve an orgasm. But don’t worry. Because in reality, none of us climax during penetration. It’s science. We actually climax during foreplay or when our special spot is being rubbed against a special person. Or a special something. Hello iPhone on vibrate…

Basically, what it all comes down to is that us women-folk can only orgasm from the clitoris. I can’t predict if society will change and guys will run around saying “oh man, I heard she had a giant clitoris!” But what I can predict? Ladies should all start asking for more oral, because in reality, that’s one of the only ways we can get off. And in the end, that’s all any guy really cares about.

[via Daily Mail]

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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