The worst part of being a girl isn’t getting your period or childbirth; it’s actually washing your hair. We hate it so much that we actually started a trend that washing your hair less is good for you. Thousands, no, millions of women everyday are leaving their hair unwashed for days, because apparently dirty is the new clean. It has something to do with the oils in your scalp, but we don’t really care about the reason because to us it just means we can cut our getting ready time from an hour (okay, sometimes hour and a half) to a respectable thirty minutes.
But then there are those days. Those horrible, awful days you actually have to get your hair wet. And wash it. And blow dry it. And straighten it. Or curl it. Basically, you’re getting some kind of arm workout on the days when you wash your hair because it is WORK. I try and put those days off as long as possible, but when I can’t put it off any longer, it puts me in a mood. I hate it so much that there’s a large variety of disgusting, sad, borderline insane things I would rather do than wash my hair. Here are a few of them:
- Eat fruit without Nutella.
- Be at the bottom of a doorstack forever.
- Take a math final at 7 a.m.
- Be left alone in a room with my ex-boyfriend’s mom.
- Learn a second and third language.
- Eat Chinese food with actual chopsticks and not a fork.
- Sit in front of one of those 10X mirrors that exaggerate every pore and imperfection on my face.
- Take shots without a chaser.
- Lose my virginity all over again.
- Drink Diet Pepsi instead of Diet Coke.
- Eat all the kale.
- Go to a two hour spin class.
- Or any spin class.
- Or just workout in general.
- Lose all of my Instagram likes.
- Get back on Tinder.
- Start a juice cleanse.
- Eat a salad.
- Without croutons.
- Wear a brown paper sack to formal.
- Leave the house without makeup on.
- Listen to Nickelback on repeat.
- Give a blowjob.
- Meet the man of my dreams when I’m wearing mysteriously stained sweatpants and my retainer.
- Sleep with Ross from ‘Friends’.
- Stare at a bunch of adorable puppies and not pick them up.
- Give up social media for a day.
- Okay, maybe an hour.
- Drink coffee that isn’t Starbucks.
- Wake up with a hangover that lasts for the rest of my life.
- Do butt stuff.
- LOL just kidding, that will never happen.
- Be a GDI.
- Sit next to my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend on a trans-atlantic flight.
- Give up Diet Coke for the rest of my life.
- Cuddle without having sex.
- Actually, cuddle at all.
- Wear a fedora.
- Break a nail.
- Watch my (divorced) parents’ sex tape.
- Put a cup of dry shampoo in my hair and keep putting it off for as long as possible. My personal record is 6 days..
Nice Move481
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Cristina Montemayor
Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).
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