Your Ultimate Spring Break Bucket List

Spring Break

Spring Break is a magical time. Not that I would know, seeing as I’m stuck in my college town working at my big girl job and drinking my own tears as if they were tequila shots. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give my unrealistic party girl goals for you to complete during your week of degeneracy. With this bucket list challenge, you are guaranteed to have a week you could never forget. Unless, of course, you’re blacked the fuck out the entire time. In that case, you will have an album full of pictures you know you should delete… but are kind of too good to. Happy #SB2k17 y’all, take a shot for me.

Eat a traditional meal.
Sure, you’re resort in Cabo might be all-inclusive, but a pizza bar and American Buffet are far from the best that your destination has to offer. Take one night to sleep off the day drinking, look cute, and eat a traditional meal. Not only will it taste amazing, that photo is, like, the only picture you’ll want to post for your family to see.

Kiss a boy (or girl) for every swim suit you brought.
If you’re doing spring break right, you’ll have at least two bikinis a day. But if you’re truly doing spring break right, this challenge will make you smile, not cringe. The rules are different during spring break. A quick make out sesh is basically the same as a side hug in the real world. Just make sure they’re all hot as hell. The only #ragrets is macking down with a four.

Craft waterproof information cards.
These will either be worn around your neck or in your equally cute fanny pack. Put in information like your name, which hotel your staying at, and your friend’s emergency contact. Keep yourself safe, even when you’re hoe-ing out.

Throw what you know with a cop.
Also thank them for keeping everyone safe. Sure, you might have some bad feelings when they shut down your party or when they were totally unreasonable for arresting Snooki, but they are just trying keep kids from literally dying. Show your appreciation they best way Greeks know how- by sharing the love.

Drink a glass of water with every drink.
I know, I know. Ugh. So mom. But besides making sure you’re not “that girl” who wishes she could take down that one YouTube video, you’ll help ensure you get the most out of your vacation. If you can’t bring yourself to drink water so that you won’t be puking in the bar bathroom at 9pm, do it so at 9am you can be eating breakfast on the beach. A hangover is brutal. A hangover that takes an entire day out of your hard earned vacation is unforgivable.

Find a guy with the best abs. Abs luge.
Hey, partake in a boob-luge too if you want. I’m not one to judge. But we are all strong, independent women. And, if you never licked tequila off a six pack, you’re high key missing out.

Keep your hair unfucked up.
As a girl who grew up on the beautiful beaches of San Diego, I know how fucking terrible your hair can feel after just a few days. Hopefully your room is stacked full of sunscreen and hats that will help to protect your skin, but hair needs treatment too. Make sure you thoroughly wash your hair with cold water and use as much deep conditioner and you can. If your hair is dyed, make sure to pick up color protectant. Your face is already going to look like a drunk mess in all your pictures. But at least your outfits and hair will still be cute.

Go to an exclusive party.
You probably will attend at least one big name artist concert during your break. Those, undeniably, are a blast. But you know what’s even more fun? The after party. My trick is to make friends with the photographers. It’s usually the same photographers that shoot every show for that artist specifically or events that artist frequents. Either way, they’re probably all friends. Those guys are your tickets in. Because what’s better than seeing your favorite rapper in concert? Snapping picture with him while taking shots.

Delete/block your fuckbuddy’s number before you go.
No matter how good of a time you’re having, and no matter how many cute boys you meet, you’re still always going to feel that urge to call him incessantly to see what/who he is doing and why you aren’t exclusive. I would say to resist that urge, but that’s bullshit and we know it. Write his number down, keep it on you desk at home, and enjoy a week from distraction. Speaking from experience, nothing is worse than getting back to your college town and having him not speak to you over something you drunkenly said.

Take a picture for TFM’s Spring Break photo contest.
Get creative, but stick to classics. Do you have artistic skills, a Yeti cooler, and a butt? Guess what. You have your first idea.

Literally do whatever the fuck you want.
It’s spring break, y’all. You only get a few of these, so be as extra as you can afford to. After all, it’s basically just training for your bachelorette party, right?

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Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at [email protected] EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.

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