Every outfit requires a choker. TSM.
When your little puts you down as her emergency contact instead of her real mom. TSM.
Petty is just pretty without the ‘r’. TSM.
Keep your sisters close, and standards closer. TSM.
Discrimination is bad. Drink all the alcohol. TSM.
Wine is a win with an ‘e’ on the end. TSM.
“I’m not drunk enough for this,” as you walk into class. TSM.
Skipping class to craft for your future little. TSM.
I think I’m a fun time but standards doesn’t think so. TSM.
Why can’t we just use our dues for booze? TSM.
Mastering the skill of getting ready fast, but still presentable enough for letters. TSM.
May your hangovers always be shorter than your standards meeting. TSM.
Running on two hours of sleep and having glitter everywhere must mean it’s big/little week. TSM.
If Angelina Jolie can divorce from Brad Pitt, you can get over a mediocre frat boy. TSM.
Venmo-ing him for Plan B. TSTC.
Inviting a boy over just to get his Netflix password. TSM.
“I’m too sober for this” is pretty much my life motto. TSM.
Not knowing if you want Scott Disick to be your dad or your daddy. TSM.
Coming to the conclusion you’re not cut out for motherhood due to the fact you wouldn’t be able to have wine for 9 months. TSM.
Today’s smokey eye is brought to you by last night’s eyeliner.