8. He’s a Drama Queen
I might be an outward drama queen, but at my core, I don’t really care about much at all. I’m totally type B, I don’t hold grudges, I don’t think anything is a big deal (unless my boyfriend says another girl isn’t the ugliest girl he’s ever seen in his life…then we have a problem), and I generally get over arguments while I’m still in the middle of having them. So, if a guy makes a big deal about something that I’ve already dubbed not important, my eyes roll so far to the back of my head I can see my brain (which is pink and glittery). I don’t even like it when my girl friends dwell over things for an extended period of time, if a guy cares too much about something I just want to ask him why he left his penis home that day. I am supposed to be the fuck-giver, and you the fuck-receiver. Meaning…YOU. SHOULDN’T. CARE. It’s exhausting to have to calm someone down and reassure them constantly that nothing matters. I got over my let’s-get-into-stupid-fights-for-no-reason phase when I was fifteen years old, and frankly, I’m not interested in doing that ever again. If I need to be your baby-sitter, my rate was $10 an hour in high school, and I’ll get the balmex out of your parents’ medicine cabinet. Grow up.
Nice Move861
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
@VeronicaRuckh
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