There have been so many different reports on the average penis size, that saying one is “the real” average honestly seems ridiculous. What seems consistent, to me, at least, is that the “average” seems tiny. The averages range from 5.1 inches to around 5.6 inches, and I’m not sure I can get on board with that. Mainly because an inch above 5 inches (re: 6 inches) still sounds average, while an inch below 5 inches (re: 4 inches) sounds like a borderline medical condition. Plus, most of these studies are conducted by men who are the proud owners of penises. Dr. Gordon, who conducted the world’s ~largest~ (lol) study on penis size, measuring 15,000 flesh flutes, worldwide, admittedly conducted his study because “Many men live lives of misery and shame, or undergo harmful and unproven interventions, due to a false belief they are abnormal.” Like he literally did it so guys wouldn’t feel bad if they were small.
But who knows? Maybe 5 inches really is average, and I’ve just been lucky. I decided to do some digging, though, to see what was what. And I now present you with the most comprehensive penis data in frat blogging history.
Dick Size, By City
In 2010, an online condom company called Condomania used its condom sales and self-reporting to determine which cities had the biggest dick. 27,000 men reported the length and girth of their erect penises and were then matched up with the best condom fit for them. Penises ranged in length from 3 inches to 10 inches. Of course, self-reporting leaves a lot of room for generous error.
RESULTS:
- New Orleans
- Washington DC
- San Diego
- New York City
- Phoenix
- Portland
- Atlanta
- San Francisco
- Chicago
- St. Louis
- Seattle
- Miami
- Indianapolis
- Columbus
- Boston
- Denver
- Los Angeles
- Detroit
- Philadelphia
- Dallas/Ft. Worth
Dick Size, By State
In 2013, the same condom company ranked all 50 states with the same very non-scientific study. Here are the top 20.
RESULTS:
- North Dakota
- Rhode Island
- South Dakota
- District of Columbia
- Massachusetts
- Ohio
- Arizona
- Alabama
- New York
- South Carolina
- Colorado
- Maryland
- Wisconsin
- New Jersey
- California
- Florida
- Connecticut
- Virginia
- Oregon
- Pennsylvania
To see the how the rest of the states rank, click here.
Dick Size, By Country
Some research done in in 2013 put some interesting information about penis size by country out into the world. A study done by Richard Lynn was widely criticized because he allegedly used outdated, untrustworthy, and frankly racist sources to come to his findings — including but not limited to literature that aimed to prove some races were “better” than others, as well as “a book of semi-pornographic ‘tall tales’ by an anonymous nineteenth century French surgeon.” But since most of you are just skipping ahead to the parts of this that are easy to consume, I will include his findings. BUT THEY’RE NOT CONFIRMED, BE HIGHLY SKEPTICAL.
RESULTS:
- Congo, 7.1 inches
- Ecuador, 6.9 inches
- Belgium, 6.4 inches
- France, 6.3 inches
- Italy, 6.2 inches
- Brazil, 6.2 inches
- Egypt, 6.2 inches
- Denmark, 6 inches
- Netherlands, 5.9 inches
- Sweden, 5.8 inches
- Scotland, 5.8 inches
- Chile, 5.7 inches
- Israel, 5.7 inches
- Germany, 5.7 inches
- Norway, 5.6 inches
- England & Wales, 5.5 inches
- Canada, 5.5 inches
- Spain, 5.5 inches
- Australia, 5.2 inches
- Japan, 5.2 inches
- Russia, 5.2 inches
- United States, 5.1 inches
- Ireland, 5 inches
- China, 4.3 inches
- India, 4 inches
- Korea, 3.7 inches
How Men Rate Their Own Dongs
And how do guys feel about all this? They’re scared. Very scared. Only 55% of men feel they’re packing enough heat — 45% of men want to be larger, and uhh, .2% want to be smaller (hmu). This of course, has a lot to do with the importance society places on penis size, and an unrealistic perception of what’s normal. This starts when boys are young. The first penis a boy ever sees (besides his own), is likely his father’s. The average prepubescent penis is generally only around 4cm in length, so comparatively, dad’s dick seems massive. This importance men place on their size might also be historical:
The penis, particularly in its erect state, is a symbol of masculinity. In many cultures it has come to symbolise attributes such as ‘largeness, strength, endurance, ability, courage, intelligence, knowledge, dominance over men, possession of women; a symbol of loving and being loved’. A review [1] is recommended which describes Indian Sadhus using weights, Dayak men in Borneo piercing the glans and then inserting items in the resultant holes to stimulate the partner, and the Topinama of Brazil, who encourage poisonous snakes to bite their penis to make it enlarge (for 6 months!). Some of these concepts date back over many thousands of years, and there is evidence that prehistoric cave dwellers attributed the symbolic values of strength and power to penile size, as well as those of virility and fertility, a process also recommended in the Kama Sutra.
Because of this, most men self proclaim themselves as average, with a disproportionate number of guys saying they are small, despite the studies generally showing a bell curve. To break it down:
- 55% of men are satisfied with their size
- 45% of men would like to be bigger
- 0.2% of men would like to be smaller
- 66% of men rate themselves “average”
- 22% of men rate themselves large
- 12% of men rate themselves small
How Do Women Feel About Size?
Eventually, women were finally asked to weigh in, because objectification is a two-way street #equality. In general, 85% of women, are satisfied with the size of their partners. But do they have an ideal size? Of course they do. In an absurd, but genius study released in 2015, scientists made 100 3D molds of dicks (re: basically dildos) to show and had women rate their favorites based on what they actually looked like, rather than based on the guesswork we usually do. No, I don’t think the women — uhh — tried the molds out, but this is still a better indicator than naming an arbitrary number of inches. The results varied marginally, with most women preferring their one-night stand (6.4 inches in length, and 5 inches in circumference) to be bigger than their boyfriend (6.3 inches in length, 4.8 inches in circumference).
In a separate, incredibly misogynistic study published in 2001, two “popular” male student athletes asked 50 women “considered by the two males to be sexually active, based on the males’ prior social experience and knowledge of the females” about their size preferences for men. Generally, width came back as more important than length.
RESULTS:
Ideal Dick Size To Date According To Women: 6.3in length, 4.8in circumf
Ideal Dick Size To Fuck According To Women: 6.4in length, 5in circumf
Factors That Relate To Size
As I’ve been saying for one hundred years to every guy, race does not indicate dick size — but height generally does. Of course, you can be a short guy with a big dick, or a tall guy with a small dick, but usually a guy’s height is a pretty good indicator of how long his dick is going to be. Race sometimes comes into play after that — black guys are usually taller, so they have big dicks, but Kevin Hart is likely not packing. Conversely, Asian guys are generally shorter, so they have smaller dicks, but Yao Ming is probably doing okay. The same can be said for hand size and foot size — these might seem like indicators, but it’s only because tall guys generally have big hands and feet. If a tall guy comes out of the woodwork with baby hands, you might still be just fine.
On yet another note that guys swear and girls vehemently deny, you cannot tell how big a guy’s erect penis will be based on the size of his flaccid penis. Any girl who has handled a “grower” knows this. I’ve seen a penis triple (literally) in size from 0 to 100, and I’ve seen another that barely looked different. And science backs this up. I know this is in centimeters, so you have no idea what these numbers are, but look — there’s no significant correlation.
RESULTS:
Height: Yes
Race: No
Size of flaccid penis: No
So, in conclusioin — umm, I’m not sure. We’re all probably going to be okay..
To read more ~penis facts~ click here.
Image via Shutterstock
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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