Summer on Nantucket. TSM.

Communion for breakfast. TSM.

Taking my Adderall in the summer just so I can concentrate on my job. Just kidding, daddy would never make me work. I just want to stay skinny. TSM.

He knows I’m wife material. More importantly, his parents know it too. TSM.

You talk it, we live it. You’re jealous, admit it. TSM.

Hot glue gun burns. TSM.

When I’m having a bad day I just remember that I’m rich, pretty, and educated. TSM.

Being best buds with your long time fratdaddy’s Mom, and talking weddings with her while he’s around. TSM.

Sitting in church and looking around and pointing out all the DILFs. TSM.

Not even my ice cream is store bought. TSM.

I’m not going to say she’s ugly, that’s mean. But I will say that I’d be embarrassed to see her in my letters. Cut. TSM.

Great blondes think alike. TSM.

I want my Sunday Funday to consist of crafting. Hobby Lobby, why are you not open?! TSM.

There is a lot of size diversity in my chapter. We range from Youth L to Medium. TSM.

Born with perfect posture. TSM.

If you don’t focus on your ass, no one else will. TSM.

Even my roommate knows my fradaddy’s password. TSM.

Big hat. Small waist. TSM.

I would bet I can fit more beers in my Longchamp than you. But ladies don’t bet. TSM.

Never been “one of the guys.” TSM.