Needing a Xanax once you realize that the “quick online shopping” you did is all you have to show for 10 hours on Adderall. Sorry for shopping. TSM.

Told my teachers that I will not be in class Friday morning because I have a wedding. I meant the Royal Wedding. TSM.

Never feeling like I have a “food baby.” TSM.

Velma Dinkley. GDI. Daphne Blake. TSM.

Royal Wedding? I would rather be a First Lady any day. TSM.

Having the perfect technique to get “yogurt stains” out of formal dresses. TSM.

Arts and crafts was always my favorite part of summer camp. TSM.

Finals week is my favorite, all the adderall makes me look extra-thin just in time for summer. TSM.

Not watching the Royal Wedding because I’m too American. Also, because I’m too jealous. TSM.

We come from different states, go to different schools, and have joined different greek organizations, but today all our prayers go to the University of Alabama. TSM.

No, GDI, I’m not flirting. It’s called southern charm. TSM.

Dimming my Mac’s screen to use it as a mirror. TSM.

Spending longer on my hair and outfit for the gym than I do on the elliptical. It’s not like I need it. TSM.

Yoga class this morning was like a Sobriety Test. I Failed. TSM.

When I’m done checking facebook and Twitter I stare at my sperrys. TSM.

Don’t judge me for judging. TSM.

Not knowing if I’m slightly dizzy from not eating all day, or the 5 glasses of wine I just had. TSM.

“If you had come to a rush party, I would have at least been nice to you.” – Elle Woods. TSM.

My 5 year old niece told her friends “don’t talk to me I’m crafting.” TSM.

My puppy has perfected the bitch face. TSM.