Everyone hates my relationship status. My sisters are jealous because I am engaged, and fratdaddy’s brothers are jealous because he got me first. TSM.

My closet puts Carrie Bradshaw’s to shame. TSM.

The only place I curse is in bed. TSM.

My frat daddy says he doesn’t want to rush into anything before he’s sure of his feelings for me. We’re going on spring break together next weekend, I expect to be facebook official by Monday considering I look like a Victoria’s Secret Model in a bikini and even better when it comes off in the hot tub after too many frozen daiquiris. TSM.

I have to stop shopping while on addy. TSM.

Tanning after spring break to even out the tan lines. TSM.

I don’t weigh enough to go on some rides at Disneyland. TSM.

Went to the mall to return a shirt, left with over $1000 of clothing. TSM.

We know we’re beautiful, but can’t you just facebook stalk us instead of stealing our composites? TSM.

MGD 64, Bud 55… Can’t they come out with a zero-calorie beer? TSM.

Fraternity composites always seem to be the backdrop to my pictures. TSM.

Using my iPhone to post a picture of my new Sperrys on facebook so all my sisters know which ones they aren’t allowed to buy. TSM.

I don’t do a Snookie poof. I wear a 60’s poof complete with bow. TSM.

Box wine keg stand. TSM.

My five year old sister asking me to teacher her how to walk in heels. TSM.

Today a GDI asked me why my initials on my monogram weren’t in the right order. I just rolled my eyes at her. TSM.

GDI, being in a “service sorority” doesn’t make you Greek. It only associates you with other larger-than-average GDIs. TSM.

Theres no place like Neiman’s. TSM.

Lacrostitute. TSM.

Pearls at the pool. TSM.