I’m not dieting for spring break, I’m dieting for Round Up. TSM.

Having Temple winning the NCAA tournament in your bracket based on the fact that their mascot is an owl. TSM.

Wearing my wine and silver blue Columbia PFG as a swimsuit cover. TSM.

Having a mini meltdown when I thought I lost my cupcake trays. TSM.

2 page to-do list in alternating sorority colors. TSM.

8 minute abs. TSM.

Never entered a public school until my elementary education practicum. TSM.

Perusing potential recipe selections while intoxicated. TSM.

St. Patrick’s Day: The one day where my Starbucks matches the rest of my outfit. TSM.

My ex-roommate made fun of the “sorority uniform.” I pointed out that she wears the GDI uniform: mom jeans, Walmart tee, and unibrow. TSM.

I never wear t-shirts, but I collect them just so I can pass them down to my little. TSM.

T-shirt envy. TSM.

Coming home from spring break to find a brand new SL 550 Mercedes Benz in the garage. TSM.

Getting a fraternity house’s door code confused with your sorority’s. TSM.

The only thing I don’t lose when I’m drunk is my standards. TSM.

“Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.” TSM.

Accumulated a ton of t-shirts this year, but I couldn’t tell you the last time I bought one in a store. TSM.

Setting my alarm for class before going out. TSM.

Today’s bow is green. TSM.

Nordstrom calling to offer you a personal shopper for the weekend because you are a “valued” customer. TSM.