Finding new recipes instead of paying attention in class. TSM.

My orgasms may be fake, but my handbag isn’t. TSM.

Only going to chapter to order t-shirts. TSM.

My chocolate lab is cuter than your chocolate lab. TSM.

The only XL things I’ll ever own are my sunglasses, SUV and engagement ring. TSM.

I have a love-hate relationship with the weekends: epic and shambly times lead to overindulging and yet another weekly crash diet. TSM.

Always rooting for the cute blonde on Cupcake Wars. TSM.

The calories don’t count if you don’t remember them. TSM.

I hate when geeds sit in the greek section of the library. TSM.

Painting my nails one by one as reward/motivation for completing different parts of a homework assignment. TSM.

I’ve never met a mirror I didn’t like. TSM.

The bigger the hair the smaller the hips. TSM.

Wishing I could list 100 sisters on facebook. TSM.

“Is butter a carb?” TSM.

Today someone told me “You don’t look like you eat a lot.” TSM.

My fratdaddy stopped in the middle of our hookup to chug a nightcap beer in less than five seconds, then resumed. I didn’t care. TSM.

Naming our purebred teacup yorkie after our patron goddess. TSM.

Skipping a meal so that way my calorie counter will allow room for 7 shots of Jack Daniel’s. TSM.

Checking into important places on facebook so the geeds know how unfortunate they are. TSM.

Using your meal plans to buy chasers. TSM.