Walked into the computer lab today, and geeds were Facebook stalking me. TSM.

Fitting my teacup pomeranian’s custom Lilly sweaters. TSM.

Birth control is a major food group. TSM.

The only thing whiter than my pearls are my teeth. TSM.

Taking up a whole row of ellipticals with your sisters at the rec center. TSM.

Needing to marry someone whose last name starts with S because I’ve gotten really attached to my monogram. TSM.

Lilly Pulitzer cookie cutters. TSM.

I reek of Narcissism. TSM.

Valentine’s Day was not depressing. TSM.

You know what goes great with a Longchamp bag? Old money and nepotism. TSM.

Never having to suffer through the dorm experience with a GDI because Daddy knows you’re better than that. Instead, he buys you an off-campus condo. TSM.

As if it isn’t already obvious that he’s a GDI, the lanyard in his pocket says “I had to drive to campus.” TSM.

When the 5 minute walk to the library takes nearly an hour. TSM.

That’s why her hair’s so big…it’s full of secrets. TSM.

If anyone stole my 200 watch, it would be completely worthless to them because my wrist is so tiny. TSM.

FratDaddys are for girls. Law students are for women. TSM.

Never taking a bathroom mirror pic. TSM.

Watching the Kardashians during my workout, and I can’t help but think that Kourtney does not appreciate Scott. TSM.

Having a mom hot enough to use her ID as my fake. TSM.

Matching rainboots and umbrella. TSM.