She kissed my boyfriend once, so I hate her chapter. TSM.

I’ll drink responsibly when there’s a brand of vodka called “Responsibly.” TSM.

Falling asleep cuddling a bottle of Jack. TSM.

Every empty bottle has a story. TSM.

Glittering your Xanax. TSM.

“No makeup” for ritual just translating to “no contouring.” TSTC.

Painting your nails in class. TSTC.

A mixer with us would be good for their reputation. TSM.

Refusing to play his snapchat story. TSM.

Needing a second 21st birthday because you don’t remember the first one. TSM.

I hope the earring I lost in his bed punctures him in his sleep. TSTC.

Being more stressed out about a meeting with standards than an exam. TSM.

Winning Greek Week four years in a row. TSM.

Procrastinating homework with formal planning, because productivity is relative. TSM.

Pregaming asking him to formal. TSM.

Fan girling over your little on every form of social media. TSM.

Fighting for the biggest bed on spring break, but never actually sleeping in it. TSM.

Sexting the same exact lines to two different boys, because to hell with creativity. TSM.

Most likely to be sent to standards. TSM.

Going to the gym, only to realize you accidentally grabbed a water bottle filled with vodka. TSTC.