My paddle looks like Lilly Pulitzer puked on it. TSM.

I make my FratDaddy dinner after chapter, then GDIs make my dinner. TSM.

Power walking in packs. TSM.

The fratdaddy in front of me in class is reading TFMs on his fratberry and holding a spitter in his other hand. I’m so taking him to my date party. TSM.

I’m getting sick of randoms telling me how pretty I am… Yes geed, I’m prettier than you. Deal. TSM.

Being a Jackie, not a Marilyn. TSM.

When I really like a guy, I say his whole name. It helps me imagine our future monogrammed towels. TSM.

My diet starts tomorrow. TSM.

No. I am not concerned about my future. I am a 34D and bake cookies like you wouldn’t believe. TSM.

Toned thigh muscles from squatting over toilets at frat parties to pee. TSM.

I have more friends in real life than you have on Facebook. TSM.

Skipping class to iron blindfolds. TSM.

Not knowing a new members name until she’s vomming at the first mixer. TSM.

Going to class consists of decorating my Lilly planner with color pencils and stickers. TSM.

Making my Christmas list while sitting in class. TSM.

Skipped 2 tests today because it was raining. TSM.

The only drink I’ve ever had to pay for was a diet coke. TSM.

Family and Consumer Sciences major. TSM.

Hyphenated last names are for GDIs. I’ll be taking my husband’s name. TSM.

Taking wine tasting as a humanities credit. TSM.