My favorite position is CEO. TSM.

The only recycling I do is reusing water bottles to transport wine to parties. TSM.

Painted cooler. TSM. Four Bottles of Makers in the painted cooler. TFM.

I’m conservative everywhere except the bedroom. TSM.

Watching HGTV with my sorority sisters and discussing how we could obvi decorate so much better than the trained professionals on the shows. Totes. TSM.

My camera ran out of batteries at a party. There was no reason to stay after that. TSM.

I’m only a lightweight because I weigh 100 pounds. TSM.

Lost my virginity in a truck but it was a King Ranch so it was classy. TSM.

Working out…I mean walking on an elliptical while listening to Taylor Swift. TSM.

I’m every feminist’s worst nightmare and every fratdaddy’s dream come true. TSM.

I was tired of preparing for my fake future and doing Business homework, so I took the day off to prepare for my real future and bake cookies. TSM.

Wishing the USMC a Happy 235th Birthday. TSM. Wishing all the Fratdaddies over seas stay safe while protecting freedom. TFM.

Helping you build an empire. One sandwich at a time. TSM.

Our President Elect was too ugly, so we had a re-vote. TSM.

I have more oxford dress shirts than most fratstars. I don’t make the walk of shame in a t-shirt. TSM.

Majoring in Political Science so that I can one day rule the Junior League. TSM.

I’m not worried about the sophomore slump, since the only thing I have close to love handles are the belt loops on my size 0 jeans. TSM.

Current Stressors: What kind of puppy to put on my Christmas list and how my Mercedes needs an oil change. TSM.

You’re right GDI. Leggings aren’t pants…if you’re fat. TSM.

I have no problem signing a prenup because I’ll never run out of family money. Besides my sandwiches are too damn good to divorce. TSM.